ONLINE

did you ever go to see someone you met online?

umm, so i'm going to. =/

that will be my last use of any time of emoticon on this blog, EVER, don't worry.

but that is the face i have on

today i blew over five hundred dollars on books. first up: barbara leaming's bio of marilyn monroe. i already read THE IMMORTALS, so i want to learn more about her. i feel like i'm just like her, but then, i feel like that about all the main characters of any good book i read. dominique francon, marilyn monroe, lestat, sam(THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER) really a great book.

TOOTSIE

i know it, i know.

this blog has been a little aimless. the truth is i can't really care. i started this without a real goal. i thought it'd be nice to be noticed, buti didn't bank on that happening. i don't have great internet connection, so posting photos is just bothersome, fashionblog out.
i no longer use my computer to write, not a literature blog.
i haven't been improving my portfolio much at all which is pretty embarassing as an artist, so i haven't even got pictures of my work. i suppose i could photo all of my little sketches, which i quite like, but those are premature and gruesome.

i don't know what i'm doing anymore- i was meant to move to new york with jaiek, but that's not exactly happening. i'm still going though.. i'll see what the big bad city has for me. match me.

that's why jaiek and i were together. because we both needed it rough. decadent. violent.


incidentally today is my little sister madelyn's first birthday. i call her tootsie.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

to-morrow is moving day. it'll be good to get away. I'll be in Scarsdale, about 25 miles from the city. I'm desperate for a new bicycle- mine is not a road bike. It'll work for the itme being but goshh I've got such bike envy. I almost left a note on someone's old FREESPIRIT bike with my email asking how much they'd sell it for. i restrained myself.

There are certain things that you cannot afford to be cheap about. And they are coats, yogurt, and your bicycle. really, anyone who has ridden on a mountain bike on a road and also a road bike will know that the difference is friggen monumental. i've got a five hundred dollar budget though..... I may have to wait.

YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT

so do it now

my boyfriend of three years has just passed away. he had a heart attack while swimming.



alittle to late we were informed of some cardiac peculiarities.